Bless this Mess

On any given day, this is what my floor looks like. At one point, I hated seeing this every day and night so much that I began to take a few minutes each night to clear the mess myself. For a moment, it made me feel better to be able to see a clean floor, even though it was just momentarily. But the days are long, and the more and more I cleaned up, the mess kept creeping back. So I grew tired, and at some point I gave up once again. Now I could force my kids to clean up every night, in fact I wish I did. But again, the days are long. This is our reality. Kids create mess.

I often wonder how some Instagram moms manage to capture their kids in their precious moments with their picture perfect clean homes. Even their handmade wooden toys are perfectly displayed scattered across their vintage Persian rug. The truth of the matter is, this is our home and how we live in it. The toys scattered about, although sometimes hazardous, are a sweet reminder of what takes place here. We are blessed, not only for our kids, but also for all of these things that bring them joy. Like the pretend shopping cart that for some reason currently holds my son’s dirty socks, and the doodle board that my 2 year enjoys so much as she draws quietly in some corner of the room. The there’s the blaster gun that we purchased for my son when we took him to see a Marvel Avengers live show a couple of years ago.

Seeing all of these random things all over the place can be overwhelming at times. However I am getting better at accepting this mess for what it is. This mess contributes to what makes this house our home. I just wish I didn’t have to step on it all the time. Ouch!

That Sibling Love

At 4 years old, I didn’t know how my son would react to having a baby sister. He sure enough seemed excited leading up to the day she arrived. He would have nicknames for her, and decorated my growing belly with stickers. But I was worried about how he would adjust to having this baby enter our lives and completely take over. Was he ready to share his parents, who up until this moment built their entire universe around him? Will he be jealous, angry? Will he be gentle? Does he even have any idea what he’s in for? Do we?

Thankfully, it turns out I had nothing to worry about. From the start my son had an immediate connection to his baby sister. He was gentle and kind. He was helpful. He was patient. He was everything I could hope for in a big brother. She had an immediate connection to him as well. The way she would look at him with such adoration, it just melts me.

Of course things change as they get older. I myself know based on my relationship with my big bro. Toys aren’t shared, hair gets pulled, eventually there’s literally kicking and screaming. There will be injuries 🤕. But for the most part there’s still this amazing bond between them that was never forced. It was a natural bond, and when I catch little glimpses of it, well again I just turn to goo.

I know I am truly blessed for this. To see these two wonderful beings, that we made, show so much love for each other, well it just makes everything worth while. I realize things won’t always be this way. That’s why I try my best to relish each moment. I do hope this connection will somehow carry on into their adulthood. I find comfort when I imagine they will always be there for each other, unconditionally.

Pickles count as veggies, right?

Or are they a fruit? Well anyways, tonight I fed my kids hot dogs and pizza rolls for dinner, and I’m okay with that.

It’s Sunday, and normally I like to prepare a nice Sunday night dinner. However due to a hectic day, and lack of groceries, I settled with the pack of hot dogs I picked up from Target yesterday, and the pizza rolls my son begged me to get. Not the healthiest of meals, I know. But it is a meal nonetheless.

I would love to be able to feed my children healthy well balanced meals everyday, but let’s be real. I have a toddler and a very picky 6 year old. I could go through the trouble of hiding puréed veggies in their Mac n cheese, or establish a dinner table standoff between my son and a plate broccoli, but I seriously lack the time and patience for that. So yes, I’m the mom that stocks up on instant Mac n Cheese Cups, and Chef Boyardee. My freezer is full of Eggo breakfast items, and frozen chicken nuggets, and yes I sometimes even buy pre-made frozen pb&j sandwiches. I’m a tired working mom, and this is what I do.

When I was growing up I lived off fast food and frozen “TV dinners.” I thought Salisbury Steak was actual steak. The words “organic, gluten-free, non-GMO” were non-existent. I used to make pizzas out of sliced bread, tomato paste, and shredded cheddar cheese. I have always wanted better for my kids, and I think I’ve done a good job at that.

I do not feed my kids junk all of the time. I do try and prepare a nice dinner for them at least 3-4 times a week. I’d say that’s pretty damn good. Especially on bath nights. Am I right or am I right? I also make sure to limit my son’s juice intake, and I haven’t even introduced juice to my toddler. Neither of them eat much candy, and fortunately both of them love fruit.

So I have no shame when it comes to what I feed my children. I’m very fortunate to be able to provide them with what I can.